So a few weeks ago, I saw a post on Facebook that reminded me that it was my friends Rob and Nicki’s 20th anniversary. I could scarcely believe that their wedding was twenty years ago. Theirs was the first wedding that I stood up in. Rob asked me to be his best man.
He probably should have rethought that choice.
See, here’s the thing. Rob and I were roommates my sophomore year in college. He and I bonded over an afternoon of playing Street Fighter II. And when I say an afternoon, I mean five or six hours of solid play. We were a bit disoriented when we emerged from Walther Basement and headed for the dining hall, but a solid friendship had been forged, enough that when I found myself in need of a new roommate, he was the first person I asked.
Turns out it was a good choice, because we shared one other passion: Star Trek: The Next Generation. Or, to be more specific, a love for a certain half-Betazoid counselor.
Yes, Rob and I had a thing for Counselor Deanna Troi. As a matter of fact, I seem to remember that at one point, the two of us stood in line for two or three hours just to get Marina Sirtis’s autograph. I barely got to talk to her because one of her handlers got too chatty. According to Rob, the two of them shared a deep emotional connection from the moment their eyes met.
But shortly thereafter, Rob met Nicki and the two of them got engaged and eventually married. And, like I said, he asked me to be his best man, meaning that I had to give the toast at the reception.
Being the thoughtful, mature individual that I was, I knew I had to give at least part of the toast in Klingon. I mean, that’s what friends do, right?
But apparently my limited grasp of Klingon wasn’t quite good enough.
See, at the time, I had a summer job at the Vlasic pickle factory in Bonduel, Wisconsin. I don’t know how the subject came up, but I wound up telling one of my coworkers that I would be taking some time off to go to Rob and Nicki’s wedding. That led to explaining my plan to toast the happy couple in Klingon. Little did I realize, the man I was speaking to was an expert in Klingon. No kidding. This was a guy who was intimately involved in the numerous translation projects that Star Trek fans undertook, like translating Shakespeare or the Bible into Klingon. He asked to see what I had put together. I showed him, and it turned out that I had messed up the grammar. He spent some time figuring out what I really needed to say and handed me a much longer toast.
I hate to admit this, but that kind of freaked me out a little.
Anyway, the time eventually came for me to give the toast. Once everyone was ready, I stood up and introduced myself, and explained how Rob and I both loved Star Trek, and that I thought it might work to give a toast in Klingon. You know, something like this… And then I read what the Klingon expert who worked in a pickle factory wrote for me.
Now here’s where my plan kind of took an unintentional swerve. See, Rob was a theatre student like me. He has a great sense of humor and a great sense of improv.
I should have remembered that.
Everyone laughed. Everyone was sure that we had planned that little bit of comedy. No, we hadn’t, and Rob’s addition caused me to completely forget what I was going to say after the Klingon stuff.
I muddled through, throwing together something about how Rob and Nicki were very musically gifted (and they are; they actually sang a duet together as part of their wedding) and how I hoped their lives would be a duet. Or something like that. I honestly can’t remember.
Now you may have noticed that I didn’t share the Klingon part of the toast. Sadly, I don’t remember what I said and I gave Rob and Nicky my crib sheet. But this is still a favorite memory of mine.
So I’m wondering: have you ever been to a wedding where the bride and/or groom and/or wedding party did something particularly geeky? If so, share the story below!